Drabble Fic Night 3: Not Me

Written after seeing a Japanese anime trailer

I promised I’d make this simple for you. If you flip a coin you don’t care about the outcome for the side of the coin that isn’t chosen. It’s heads or tails, simple as that. No worries. Success or failure, all made up by something you can’t even control.

Life is like that. A lack of control makes us all who we are. If I was in control right now then this wouldn’t even be a question of waiting. It’d be like flipping a coin. You’d either meet and fall in love or you’d never see each other again.

Apparently the universe likes balance, however much I think it is a mistake. Yes or no isn’t the balance you might think it is. There are an infinite number of possibilities, the world doesn’t operate in binary. There are more colours in the rainbow than you’ll ever smell, more foods than you could ever touch and more people than you could ever eat. Is that the right way round? I find it so hard to tell.

Words feel strange. I’m not used to communicating like this. Sometimes I have to give people a nudge. A little bit of alteration while you’re writing a computer message and things will usually find themselves on one track or another without too much harm.

It’s nothing that special. Any creature like me could do it.

I don’t want it to be like this, with all of the intrigue and delays. I’d much rather it was like flipping a coin. A simple yes or no.

It isn’t up to me though.

So when you’re pacing up and down questioning your feelings or wondering why everything is just so complicated then you know who to blame.

Not me.


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